this is really good... it was hard to decide whether to give it a five or four... but i went with the four because you try harder when you have somewhere to go, a goal to reach... you know what i mean? i love the topic... right now im depressed so of course its going to work for me. i like your wording and the emotion you convey through your wording. Your ending is a little lacking... so my suggestion to you would be (if you want constuctive critisim) to go a little more in depth... use more description... tell alittle more of the story... and use emotional wording when you do....(if you do) otherwise keep up the good work...
much love,
Amanda

P.S. i hope this isnt something you've had to go through... if it is and you need to talk or something let me know... my aim sn is cutelovepancake
and even if it didnt happen to you and you ever need to talk im still here...

this is really good... it was hard to decide whether to give it a five or four... but i went with the four because you try harder when you have somewhere to go, a goal to reach... you know what i mean? i love the topic... right now im depressed so of course its going to work for me. i like your wording and the emotion you convey through your wording. Your ending is a little lacking... so my suggestion to you would be (if you want constuctive critisim) to go a little more in depth... use more description... tell alittle more of the story... and use emotional wording when you do....(if you do) otherwise keep up the good work...
much love,
Amanda

P.S. i hope this isnt something you've had to go through... if it is and you need to talk or something let me know... my aim sn is cutelovepancake
and even if it didnt happen to you and you ever need to talk im still here...