Days thrown away

by rbmo401   Jun 6, 2005


It was fun while it lasted
but we've run right past it
the pigeons have flown away
now they bid us good luck and farewell as they exit the bay
theres no time for goodbye
any way I'd want you to cry
I'll slip out the back
now that we're split like a crack
apart to wide to sew normal
now the days dreary and dismal
pondering of days spent with you
hating the days i find myself without you
the best days were had
and worst our final blow
i hope you can move on and that your not to sad
i wouldn't want to you to think you wasted your time with any Joe schmo
i don't want to go but my train has arrived
i bid you adieu, i think I'll be fine

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Dorotea©

    I really enjoyed some of the wording you used, especially in the end of the poem. I also thought it was good that this poem isn't very long yet what you want to say comes out clearly without having to use many fancy words. Great job. I have one suggestion though. The flow needs more work and so do the rhymes. Some parts were definitly forced with the rhymes. Dividing the poem up into stanzas might also help. Overall, I enjoyed this poem. For a love poem I thought it was unique and well written.
    Dorotea

  • 18 years ago

    by rbmo401

    so another masterpiece that worked out of my sweat covered head.

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