PRiSONER OF LOVE

I want to tell you what it's like and maybe even why i feel this way..
I've never been so sure of my emotions and yet, I'm at a loss of words to say
I'm not broken, I'm not hurt and it's not in the things that you do..
I'm just insecure and fragile, and it's not because of you..
it's in the deepest love i find I'm at this place..
i only want you there still i say i need some space..
i gather up my army and i put out my defense..
i say that I'm okay but I've been crying since..
i can't erase my past, but oh i wish i could..
i feel so weak saying this but i know that i still should..
so i am and here's everything that I'm feeling..
everything i could never say, all the hidden pieces I'm concealing..
i don't want to tell you why because I'm scared to let you in..
if i put down my defense then i let you win..
if you tear down this wall, what if you're the enemy..
what if I'm defeated in your glorious victory..
a prisoner of love, in all it's infamous pain..
never ending misery where only empty memories remain..
i can't tell you what its like, can't reveal my strategy..
if you know what hurts the most you can use it against me..
and i promised I'd never allow my heart to ever feel pain like that again..
instilled with insecurity, i was so unprotected then..
so i built a solid wall, a million miles high..
so I'd never have to hurt, never have to cry - tell me why -
i want to break these walls but i can't help but find any reason to keep them strong..
it's like i know i love you but I'm forever assuming something will go wrong..
I've always said that i believe that love is true but i sit here simply telling you it's not..
because it's standing right in front in front of me and i can't see what I've got.