This was a good poem. It had a good comparison and story. I would've like to hear more about that comparison though. Like, go deeper about the firewall. and also, the last line,

"As her life flooded out of her body like a flood"

was redundant. I think you could've used a different word for the first flooded instead of repeating it at the end.

But the story was great, and It was a well written poem, other than the minor implications I pointed out.

ouch... sorry if i dont give it the comment it deserves its really good but im just a lil pissed off right now (nothing to do with u hun) anyway im gona try and focus on your poem (very hard) well i thought it was good with great flow and rhyme pattern well done
>>5/5<<
*bec* xXx

wow great poem... you put your words together very good i love it 5/5

Very well done! Nice amount of detail and good flow throughout! Very creative way of putting things into perspective! Keep it up! Take Care! Brooke~

omg, that was so sad! i loved how your words just fit together perfectly... great poem! 5/5

wow....this is one of my favorite poems ever! great job and please dont stop wrighting!

Very well written! enjoyed it!! keep up the great work! you flowed it nicely and worded it in very well! 5/5

aww thats sad. grat job though. keep writing:)

Great work, it definately deseves the great rating that it has! Eager to read more!

Good use of metaphors! Awesome job :)