I'm so scared

So I hold on to this book,
The book of pain and death,
The one that holds every part of you,
To let me know you'll be mine,
Once, once in deep slumber,
I held you close and wished for you,
To know you are mine
Once in my darkest nightmare,
You were shot infront of me,
You fell in my arms,
Now I'm so scared it'll come true,
Not spending half as much time with you,
Hoping your fine,
Please don't let my dream come true every other one has done,
Like the Holly and Jessica.