A cutters dream(nightmare)

The sharp ridges
the dark shadows
the reflection
the anticipation
of the unexpected sensation
teasing
poking
all leading up to the horrific pain
the dark, dark stains
covering every inch of my body
the feeling
makes me crave for more
but the heart break
is still there
soak in the moment
cause it takes away the pain
for one tick in time
and when reality hits
you realize life is real
but my aching heart
is just so still