Dreaming of you

Hear i go dreaming again,
all because we're just friends,
wanting so bad to taste you lips,
hold them in just one tender kiss,
day dreaming that someday you'll hold me,
just like you held her: gently,
crying my self to sleep at night,
at the thought of you holding her tight.

a razorblade kisses my wrist,
smothering my pain, with a little twist,
i've wanted to tell you, how i feel,
but i was scared you'd say, its not real,
i write it out it words, letters you'll never see,
because i hide them under my sleeve.

i hide this secret with in my soul and heart,
to afraid to let it out, because i might just fall apart,
hiding my sweet tender scars, underneath my lies,
trying so hard to smile, when all you hear are cries.

closing myself out, as i start to slip away from reality,
shutting myself down, so i can get lost in my dream,
the one where i say i love you,
and you say "i love you too",
but that will just be make believe, all up in my mind,
because you'll be telling her that, while i slowly die inside.