It was good, the only thing I would suggest is to let your words flow more freely...you can read poetry many ways, but when I read it I felt it was kind of broken in some way...nevertheless, the idea was nice and the theme behind it...you ended the poem beautifully with:

I know I'm not ready yet to say goodbye
so i just lay back and close my eyes

as if everything was at peace. It changed the mood of the poem...In a good way. xxx Great work. Take carexxx