For weeks on end I've been unsure,
Unsure whether to believe you truly love me anymore,
I've struggled with the difficult facts,
That maybe, just maybe we can't go back,
Cried myself to sleep every night,
Exhausted, I considered giving up the fight,
Seeing you one night a week made me fear,
That you were planning on leaving me here,
Leaving me to break down in despair,
My heart broken beyond repair,
Yesterday I literally shook with anxiety,
Hands unsteady, afraid of what would be,
Butterflies filled me inside,
Unfortunately not the good kind,
A pain struck my heart,
As I thought of us peminently apart,
For so long I couldn't open my mouth to speak,
Each time I tried my tongue grew weak,
So many people behind me,
Urging me to finally relieve,
All the feelings I hide deep down,
Reassuring me if I got lost, I'd be found,
So I took you in my arms last night,
And wrapped my legs around you tight,
You're eyes showed nothing but worry and love,
As, you also, urged me with love,
I doubt you noticed but as I looked in your eyes my heart pounded,
Feeling like I was going to run but your stare held me grounded,
Finally I spoke, not knowing the right words to say,
My entire body and soul screaming for you to stay,
You listened tentatively, knowing I was full of fear,
Although I'm sure you didn't like what you had to hear,
Yet you calmed me, telling me you never knew,
Wishing I had told you sooner but understanding what I was going through,
It wasn't the response I had prepared for,
I was expecting you to tell me you didn't love me anymore,
I know I've been acting like a fool,
Not speaking the truth when I felt like a tool,
After our talk I was okay,
Yet I still won't be fine until I see that day,
The day we finally have a balance, fair and true,
Knowing I'm in love as you show you are too,
Until that day I'll remember your perfect words,
Some of the kindest words I've ever heard,
"Don't be afraid to speak to me,
I know I used to get angry,
But I realise now it was wrong,
I'd rather talk things through,
Than get angry which doesn't help,
I won't break up with you,
Cause I love you,
And I know we can talk and work things through"
So from now on I'll try not to doubt you,
And now I know our relation ship is...to be continued...
"Earlier I wouldn't let you see what I wrote because I knew it looked sad when it wasn't complete. But I hope you understand that this isn't a bad poem, it's a poem about my relief... I'm so lucky to have you in my life and I hope you feel the same. After a long time I finally feel I can talk to you about everything and anything again and not be afraid that you'll leave me. I know now you'll be there for me and support me even if my problems are petty and unimportant to you I think you understand that they mean a lot to me. I can't wait for the day things are finally completely okay... when we finally find a balance in effort made. I trust your promises... and I'll try be understanding. I love you Jake! I'd do anything for you.xxx"
