i really like it, its really sad but its a really good poem, im sry that u feel this way...

If u have time can u please comment on my poem broken girl, its my first poem

Umm Im a bit confused about the "Pop them in my mouth and swallow" bit, though im sure it had a deep meaning. But apart from that its a very obviously heartfelt poem. Sorry your in pain, hope the poem helped make you feel a bit better. X

Hey the poem was good.... but your commas and breaks between lines are to much.. if i would do it i would change it like this
"I need him but can't have him.
And it hurts more than I ever thought it could. "
At least thats what i would do.. it would make it easier for the reader to read and understand.. but thats just my opinion.. bye bye EJ

A little choppy, but it works pretty well. I like it, and it is very heartfelt. I'm sorry it's true...take care.

xxx

really loved your poem well done!! mwAzz stephy :):)

ah...great revision.... *thumbs up* Flows better now. :)

xxx

what ru talking about?

wow, i can truly feel the emotion, pain, and rage in this poem... i hope you do not feel that pills would be the only answer, tho. but this is a wonderful poem. is it a song? cause it could be. take care, Tom