gr8 piece.. gud goin.. it was short, but gr8 nonetheless.. keep up the talent
nouna

That's exactly how I felt 3/4 of my life so far. You have talent. Great poem by the way. 5/5 Please read some of my poems and comment on them thanx!

Smile,
Black~Rose

good job now you can check out my website and email or comment on mines!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-isis11nc@yahoo.com

Wow, you just described how I feel most of the time, awesome job, keep it up.

wow... thats short, but effective..... nice job with this one...
take care of you
amanda

good job!!!!!!!

Great work, I like the style of this poem and the use of words keep it up:)

Firstly i'd give u 5/5
next i'd say ... did u write this poem for me ;-) cuz i feel the same way... i dont wanna live but im scared of suicide... i hope God will take me away
awesome poem i can totoally relate to it
good luck
amy

Thats really good this poem was incredible it flowed well it had a good point, it rhymed well

so the only advice i have it not even good just an attempt to say something meaningful

instead of rhyming words like sky and die and night and light try using bigger better words, makes poems sound more intelligent and professional i think but yeah 5/5 great job

I really do like how you make me feel the cold, etc.

You have a way with words.

Very good had some meaning 5/5

Another amazin one Sarah-Joy(psst i know your name now xD) the only this is that i do think some of your rhyming was a little childish. in the beginning, it did get better towards the end with transpires, but some of your language wasnt very idk, like big, it didnt really interest the mind, idk what im saying.

lol. that and these two lines- i think shoulkd have a break, the whole rest of the poem flows really very well but these lines sort of break it up. and made me kind of trip over my words. or something-
You just want it all to go away, *
You just want to die,
But you don't want to go the wrong way,*
i was thinking-(with or w/o the enters)
You just want,
it all to go away,
You just want to die,
But you don't want to,
go the wrong way.

and thats about all i could say for this poem, otherwise it was an excellent read and i was glad to read it. =]

xxLauren

Thats another nice poem! love how you use our imagination! its the heart of writting a poem! keep it up!