Comments : Foolish Foal

  • 18 years ago

    by Marjan

    good rhyming

  • 18 years ago

    by fallen angel

    it rhymes really well, keep writing

  • 18 years ago

    by Feline Fatigue

    that's cute in a sad kinda way.

  • 16 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    The third stanza does not conform to the meter you set your self, which is a shame because up until then the flow was nigh on perfect.

    I think you could lose the second christmas too, simply because you don't want to repeat yourself with key words in poetry this concise.

    You have a good idea that has been presented nicely, I feel that you just need to polish it a little and let the piece complete itself.

    Bret