Nothingness for days,
Numb to the bone,
Emptiness filled my heart,
Feeling all alone,
Couldn't feel love,
Nor could I smile,
Thinking of you,
Only once in a while,
Forcing myself to picture you,
Pushing myself to block him out,
Making myself hurt in the heart,
Fighting against all the doubt,
Dreaming different dreams,
That didn't include you,
Seeing a future with another,
I never want this to be true,
Almost a week gone,
Still I'm confused,
My head hurts to think of it,
Inside I feel abused,
For a moment in time I was free,
Free of any emotion within,
Free from tears and pain,
Since then it feels like a new beginning,
Starting a fresh,
Not making mistakes,
Still promising to do,
Whatever it is it takes,
I thought I would be forever trapped,
In this life and in this mood,
Stuck in eternity,
With the same attitude,
I'd given up completely,
Decided things couldn't improve,
Till he came along,
Showing me life can be good,
I never imagined movie moments,
Happening to me,
I thought I'd go through life dull as ever,
But now it feels like a dream,
Loved by two,
After being loved by none,
Wanted by two,
After being so alone,
I'm not sure what the future holds,
Whether things will improve at all,
But I know now I need to keep trying,
Because good things can happen to you,
I'm glad I have this new view,
For a moment I thought I was through with pain,
But after hearing your voice,
I fell in love all over again,
The old feelings are back,
The butterflies and the chills,
The weak knees and shaking,
I thought they were lost forever... until...
Until you said hello,
Making me smile once more,
Making me imagine your embrace,
I feel like a fish and you're my lure,
I'm grateful for what has happened,
For the truth and for your kind words,
I'm grateful for your understanding,
For your kind words I was at first upset that I heard,
You reminded me of the good times,
Of what I felt like when I was once chased,
You reminded me love does exist in the purest of forms,
And one day you'll return to grace,
You have no idea what you've done for me,
What you've rekindled deep inside,
You're proven that love can exist,
Even when it tries to hide,
You will always have a place in my heart,
No matter what I always want you near,
So I can keep an eye on you,
If you ever need me I'll be here,
When you told me your feelings I froze,
I thought you were just confused,
You told me you couldn't love before a relationship,
Then told me you loved me most,
How could you suddenly change,
How could you go against what you said,
Thinking, trying to understand,
All this confusion just hurt my head,
At first I thought you were joking,
I figured you weren't the same guy,
That was before I saw your face,
And watched the tears fall from your eyes,
You really meant it,
No jokes, No light heartedness about it,
You couldn't even make light of the situation,
You lost your usual wit,
In someways I think we'd be better,
You've shown more emotion than he ever did,
You've been open in front of me,
While he ran away and hid,
Now that he's grown bored,
He's never excited to see me,
But you shook with nerves last night,
As we stood face to face, I could see,
I guess I miss that with my baby J,
Miss knowing he wanted me there,
But he's in my heart and holding tight,
So I guess he does truly care,
Only time will tell,
The future comes around fast,
And maybe we won't make it,
But I do hope we last,
I know you're leaving this summer,
Going back home to see your family,
But wherever you go,
In my heart you'll always be,
No matter what I'll be there,
To protect you, stand by your side,
I'll watch you like an angel,
Giving you a safe place to hide,
I'll see you walk up the aisle,
See your blushing bride,
I'll watch you fall in love once again,
Watch you start your happy life.
"Half of this is about one man - my boyfriend - and half is about another man - who shall remain nameless - My love for my boyfriend has been rekindle hence this poem being under that category... and my love for the other guy will always be strong but not in the way his is. I always want him in my life. Forever. And I will do my best to keep him in my life. And I'll make sure he find someone who deserves him."
