I Implore

This is messed up i can't explain the feeling
what is it, could it be double
dealing

could life be worst than it
is right now
would it change for the
good, and how

god saved once but i don't think he will again
he kept me from going off the losing end

i went to the bottom and somehow i was lifted
i just can't understand why people say i am gifted

is i gift something that freaks you out
is it a feeling that makes you want to shout

do people see things that aren't real
are you crazy or is depressed the way you feel

i see things i can't
explain
but the feeling's i can
retain

if i told someone the way
i feel
they would laugh and say
it's not real

i want to get rid of the pictures in my head
i can't so i get to the point I'm better off dead

Ive been there once or
twice
the feelings cool as
ice

it gets to the point where i just cant take it anymore
so hell, and death are the places i try to explore

I'm trying to get out of a
bad habit
i don't to be suicidal
dagnabit

Ive found my happy place in
drugs
that's just me getting rid of the bugs

Ive tried to stop my evil
ways
Ive tried for days and
days

I'm going to try till i can't
anymore
I'm going to try till i can't,
i implore

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