For Once...

For once…
I want to be chased,
With a passion, heated, hot
I refuse to do the running
Desperate I am not

For once…
I want to roll my eyes,
When you call me, crying, again
While I paint my nails, barely listening
As you sob and scream your pain

For once…
I want to pretend I don’t notice,
As you wave and catch my eye
I’ll smile and wave in the opposite direction
As I stroll right on by

For once…
I want to hear your heart shattering
As it hits the floor
While I not so subtly criticize you
And push your sorry self out the door

For once…
I want your face to crumble
As I glare and spit your name
While your voice is barely a mumble
And your face is a picture of shame

For once…
I want to be the one who hides
When I see you in a crowd
I’ll duck and dive, run and peek
Before you spot me and call out loud

For once…
I want to hurt you
Like you’ve hurt me time and time again
I want you to bleed for me, scream for me,
Attempt to drown yourself in a droplet of rain

For once…
I want to jump on your heart
With my high heel shoes
Grind it and pound it
I want you to bruise

Because you’ve done it to me
So often I don’t recall
Do you even notice
Me, or my tears, at all?

For once…
Please!
Before I decide the only way to make you cry
Is to bleed on your doorstep
As I slit my wrists and die…