Comments : Hell

  • 18 years ago

    by Feline Fatigue

    my gosh, i felt the evil as i read it, awsome!

  • 18 years ago

    by samantha

    wow thats realy gd 5/5 keep up woth the good work xxxx

  • 18 years ago

    by tea lady

    great stuff

  • 18 years ago

    by nikki

    A very good poem i liked it 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Lydie

    It's good... I like the poem itself.... but if i were you I would change:

    I hear the voices of my past.
    I make the cast form my past.

    becuase you rhymed past and past it's a bit BLEUAH so i would suggest changing it to something like

    I hear the voices of my past.
    falling deep, falling fast

    and another thing i would change would be:

    I have longed to be here.
    Now that I am here I feel fear.

    The second line to that drags on, why not try something more like:

    I have longed to be here.
    But since I have felt fear...

    it seems to flow a bit better... A good poem and i quite liked it
    also another htin is that you start each line with a capital which makes the poem a bit harder to read....

    However it's your poem and you can write it however you want....

    Keep on writing and never stop!

    -Lyd

  • 18 years ago

    by Hans Fausto

    Youve got writing potential....but u just gotta arrange your poems a bit...i find the rhyming a tweeny bit...disorganized..but..its not bad...i give it a 4:D