Good work...I like the ending the most...you sure have a way of writing death...

"As you walk down the road you ones knew and loved." - *once (knew and loved)

"Now filled with toucher, blood, and body's all around you." - *bodies

"You lie there to hungry to go on." -
*too (hungry...)

"Dieing of thist and slowly withering away." -
*thirst

Keep writing :)

xxx