Not actually a poem just a story of my past

Why does it always seems so hard
life never puts me in a safe place
i thought i was already building a career
but then just in a short snap…..

here i am again,
alone, nothing to lose, nothing to gain
just another lonely human being

maybe i take life so seriously,
but no, i dont think so
im just a loser maybe.

six months earlier
i feel so happy, why?
first i have a job
it may not be related to my course but its fun
second i feel something new this time
at first i dont know what it is
i thought its just another infatuation

but then this guy that i have this feeling left,
i didnt have a chance to tell him what i feel for him
maybe because im not sure with my feelings for him
and i know he already have girlfriend

later when he left i just realize that this is not just
an infatuation
its more like a love, maybe..

now here i am still hung up with him
its like im a lost soul on earth
a soul cannot go to heaven unless she done her purpose
the purpose of revealing her feeling……….