Yea,. definitely a moody one =o) which isnt bad at all.. i really dont have much to say.. your flow was good, rhythm just as well for the most part, and content sort of strayed from the subject a little, but otherwise it was good..

Do what they say, just sit down and obey

i like this line, excluding the sit down part,.. just doesnt sit well with me, but thats my opinion.. i do like the decay idea..

Cant help but wonder what I havent learned yet

this lines a little awkward.. maybe a little more explanation is needed..

Make believe that you still care

this is a great like, but i think the last 3 slines in the stanza dont match up with the feeling of that line.. one suggestion would be to take it like: (second line: and turn your back to the dream, unaware)
just a thought,..

Nothing is safe this I can promise and swear
swear seems ambiguous and forced here i think..

Demons began this sudden manifestation

love using the word manifestation, specially with things like demons.. used to do a lotta stuff like that.. its a very cool word..

No just f you, turn your back and just leave

decent ending.. f you expresses a lot of feeling, but itd be servd better if you used other words to convery the strong feeling.. but what do i know.. good job PZ

Wow this was really good...5/5...my fav. part was

Blood equals achievement and desperation
Sorrow and detriment have swallowed motivation
Soul sucking angels left me without explanation
Demons began this sudden manifestation

So destroy me and everything I believe
Watch my blood flow as I pretend to grieve
Look down upon me so young and naive
No just f-u-c-k you, turn your back and just leave

so full of emotion! great writing keep it up

I love your rhyming...it's amazing. And I loved this poem. Emotion is the best way to write, for it speaks the strongest.

Forever Love,
DarkSuicide

Raw feeling emotion and power i love the verse and excelent rhyme i wish some of my poems had the disaplin you show with yours