The white

I take one step forward and two steps back,
I glimpse the white but I mostly see the black,
The book of life is open but I fall into the crack,
As I take one step forward and two steps back.

The black consumes me and holds me in its grip,
It beats against me and my soul begins to chip,
I struggle forward but once again I slip,
The pages twist and I slowly start to rip.

I scream for help as the world passes by,
Sweet souls will answer so once again I try,
But it's not enough and I break down and cry,
Perhaps happiness is an illusion, just one big lie.

Maybe life is meaningless, nothing but a test,
A struggle of wills to find out who is best,
A search for love that is better than the rest,
A need for happiness that cannot be possessed.

Then I take two steps forward and hold on tight,
I think I have the answer, once again I see the light,
I look inside my heart and find a beautiful sight,
Now that I can love myself, I mostly see the white.