My heart finally realized what my head knew all along*

So, you say you won't be there when he's gone and you talk of what we could have had but we never had it at all. so just bury me in your memory I hope you choke on every word you ever said to me. while I'm good to go I'm still on my own and all the emotions I had for you are going a hundred miles an hour, and I cant sleep cause I know I never really lived until you and now I'm dead to you. and I confess I messed up but I don't blame you cause I'm just a dead end with bad news that will leave you high and broken but you were always late. I must have left my conscience on the other line only to realize you never wanted me. I swear you still know how to make my make up run and while my make up stains my pillow I'm holding on to every word you every said to me and your were the only place that felt like home I cant cover it up, you WERE the last GOOD thing about this part of town. between your smiles and regrets don't say its over or I'll be dead and gone.and I wish I could hate you half as much as I hate myself now I know were going down so I have one last question... when it all goes to hell will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face?