I am feeling so many different things right now. I think I am scared of change. I still feel trapped. It's like an amusement park. You have this one ride that you always go on, so you are scared to go on any other ones, because it is your usual favorite ride. When you do decide to go on a new ride, you always get in line but you get scared and end up going back to the ride that you are used to. Well, that is how I am with guys. I have a guy that knows everything about me, but when I try to experience friendship with a different guy, I get scared and go back to who I am comfortable with. Even though I know the other ones could be so much better, in my head it doesn't matter. I can tell myself a million times and "mean it," that I won't hang out with him and hook back up with him, but it always gets pushed away. When I am with him or talking to him, I just don't give a shit. Even if I think of what he has done and how hurt I get, it is all a blur in his presence. Thinking real hard, how would you handle a situation like this?
