I have to blow it off....

I swallow every mean thing you say
I blow off every mean look you throw at me
only around you
Everything in me falls apart...
I'm screaming on the inside..
I laugh it off..
Make you think I don't care
....but than...
I enter my world
I lay on my bed...
kicking and screaming...
You burn right through me
I love you so much..
You love her..
I don't know how much more i can take...
i wish I could drown you out..
I love your friendship though..
I try to see you as only a friend but I just cant...
I know i have too....
I have too..
I have too...
I'm doing just fine...
pretending I'm ok...
i just....
wish....