I don't even know

It has gotten so hard and I canâ??t understand,
The way that I actually feel,
At times all I want is to hold your hand,
But at others this love is nâ??t real.
I can't figure it out, feelings change far too fast,
I felt the hate in me grow
But you said something and though I'd despise love to last,
Our future is so hard to know.

The feelings are chaotic, I can't sort truth from lies
And I sense love sneaking back on me
But there is no point when hate will probably arise,
I do not know where my thoughts will soon be.
My hearts been played with, I fall to the floor,
I don't even know if I love you anymore!