Wow that is filled with a lot of emotion and is very well written. Defenitely fits the category it is in though. But a very nice poem!

Brooke

Great poem well written andd full of feeling

That was excellent! Amazing! I loved it! But like I say to... tons of people lol, is to use more commas and periods, it gives your poem a rhythm, As long as the reader pauses at the commas and periods, commas and periods also make the reader get more into the poem, and of course makes words more powerful!
Example, here is the original

If you ever see me
stop to tell me I'm a pathetic waste
beat me to the ground
and kick sand in my face

Here it is with Commas and stuff lol.

If you ever see me,
Stop to tell me, I'm a pathetic waste,
Beat me to the ground,
And kick sand in my face.

See any Difference? Another thing though is this line
"Stop to tell me, I'm a pathetic waste,"
Well the comma in the middle can change the way the reader takes the line,
This way it makes it sound like your calling yourself a *Pathetic waste* but if u take out that comma
"Stop to tell me I'm a pathetic waste,"
That makes it sound like you’re telling someone else to call u that. Well thats all I have to say! Good job!

Excellent word usage and imagery. your flow was nice too. Keep it up

Beautifully written, but so sad...

!WoW!....really great i love the flow and i member when i went thru a stage of feelin that way you took the words outts my mouth really great keep writin *hugs* Lynzie Kae

There were a few mechanical errors, but I love how you repeated the "If you ever" line, but changed it up every time to keep the poem interesting.

Amazing poem! The flow of words are captivating and so is the description of intense emotions... Definite 5/5.. :)