Very interesting poem....I'll help you with it eventually...but it really doesn't need any work...except the title...

This is a good poem. To me, this poem doesnt need to be fixed but the title should be changed. This title should have something to do with vampires and love. Hope you fix it.

I think it's good enough...that's what I think...cool poem...

You started off with a love for a vampire and how he has made you fall deeply in love with him. However perfect he might be, you're not prepared to be his soulmate forever. I think this is very well done. You kind of round it up at the end, there is a beginning and an end. A mysterious and sad tale. I think better would be trying to cut off the straggy lines and improve on the structure? I think the content is pretty good already, just that the structure seems off to me. =) Just a thought, hope you don't mind. Nonetheless, I like this a lot. Thanks for sharing.

Hey read "Desire After Dark" that will help you out alot!

I really liked this poem So far well i've always loved vampire poems/books (im weird i know)so any ways i dont think you need help! your doing a great job!! ^_^