...::*I need to tell you*::...

I desperately need to tell you something, but it’s not easy.
Every time I go to tell you,
my words get caught in my throat.
I can't tell if it’s good or bad, this feeling.
I just know that I feel it, I feel the pain.
My heart is screaming, but my words aren't there.
The feeling won't go away.
I feel like my heart is being crushed, and its slowly killing me.
My mind is filled with unwanted thoughts,
thoughts that make my eyes burn,
and my face drip with sweat. I can't think.
Every muscle in my weak body gets tense.
I'm overcome with fear, I can't help but cry.
Day by day the crying gets worse.
I try to relax and take a deep breath,
but every time I try, I panic, and I choke.
I'm worried about you.
I worry about you because I care. I care so much about you.
I love you and I'm scared.
I'm scared that my paranoia will completely take over,
and I'd lose you.
Not being able to hear your voice for hours at a time,
and not being able to hold you for days,
and desperately wanting to look into your loving, deep blue eyes is what's killing me.
Can't you see that I need you?
When you kissed me with your soft lips, I saw stars.
When you told me those three little words-I love you,
I knew that those stars I saw, will always belong to you...
My paranoia won't go away.
I know that if I see you, and hold you- it might disappear,
and with it...it will take all of my pain and fear.
I know that if I hear your reassuring words in my ears,
I'll be OK, and some paranoia will go away.
I need to know if you're alright!
If something happened to you,
I really don't know if I'd be able to handle it.
I don't know what I'd do. I need you.
...I need you to be here with me...