Interesting. never done one of these before. i love this line: People lie, People die, Cry. nice job

I don't think i've ever read a poem like that, but I really liked it!
The message was good, but I also felt that some lines seem forced. Other than that and the Desturbed =Disturbed, it was really good.

Good peice, i have never attempted a Clarity Pyramid so don't really know how much i can say...

the flow is good and the meaning strong. your choice of words is effective too.

however, with the line "People lie, People die, Cry" the "cry" seems a little removed, as if it doesn't really conect with the poem and is standing alone. i know this was proabally in order to get the silliable count corect but it still bothered me a little lol.

anyway it is a good peice.

SO few words, yet such meaning, you are very talented! I really enjoyed the poem!

I also agree with master of shadow on the whole "cry" deal, but still the poem was another great piece of writing!

You really should keep up the good work, you are a very good poet, you have the style and flow, but to add depth to the poem you have meaning to back it all up!

**meggie**