Wow, that amazing. I could see the dream so well in my head and it takes great writers to do that, one like yourself. Great work and I will read more of them. 5/5
Juls~akaJulie~

The imagery in this is beautiful, and i love the story it tells. you told me to be "harsh", but i really cant find fault with it. although the structure is irregular, it still flows perfectly and that is hard to achieve. this is an excellent poem.
stef/xx

I like the visuals you created. I feel like I’m seeing the dream played like a film before me. However though, it is quite confusing at some point because of the abrupt transition between reality and dream, but maybe that’s your intention. =)

If I were to suggest anything, I’d suggest throwing in some lines to cut down the abrupt transition. Just a though, hope you don’t mind. =)
Anyway, good effort there. Thanks for sharing. =)

One more thing,
'His fingers held he close and safe'
I don't really get the meaning of this line.. Is there some typo error? Hmm, maybe it's just me. =D

Brilliant imergry, very clear and descriptive. and a great peice overall, the images are very clear and the feelings strong.

5/5

Very nice job... I like the story this poem plays out, its very good... The only problem I personally have with this poem is that the last few lines were a little bit confusing to me.. But other than that wonderful job... Keep it up!

sammie

Wow! that was great. i loved it. i loved the twist. a very diffrent style but it was great.
Emma 5/5

That---that brought tears of joy to my eyes. It's so beautiful and sweet. Keep it up