Hey! I'm not sure why you haven't been commented on this yet, but you definately deserve something. I really enjoyed that! I've never seen it done that way before, I don't know if that means you're incredibly creative and thought itup yourself, or I just need to get out and read some more damn poetry lol; but either way, it was really refreshing to read something with new structure and idea to it. I'm sorry I can't offer any constructive criticism, but I like it as is and actually kind of hope that you don't change a thing about it. It's an excellent write!