Comments : If you love me

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    The way you wrote this was very hard to read and could be cleaned up to what I have below. Your punctuation and grammar was off, I felt like this was very rushed. Next time use spell-check and take a bit to look over your piece. Also, try writing in stanza form, it will be much better to read.

    If you love me then why are you still filled with those thoughts of her.I love you but if you love her then we done because she isn't me & never can be so leave me.........GOOD-BYE

    "If you truly love me,
    Why are you still filled,
    With thoughts of her?

    I love you greatly,
    But if you admire her,
    We are over and done.

    She isn't me at all,
    Never will she be,
    Its time to let go."

    You need much more emotion and depth, otherwise the reader gets nothing out of your words. Try writing more and being more descriptive like I showed above. You need to portray more emotions and what you wrote at the top was more like a quote. You need to work on grammar and punctuation, this was hard to read.

    Take care and God Bless You!