Look

by loving my kids tessa and savannah   Feb 27, 2006


I looked at you
Not knowing what to do or say
You don't know my name and I don't know yours
But who know maybe we will met again one day
But all I know is that I want to be with you

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  • 18 years ago

    by Ken

    I't needs some work, and a bit more structure.
    try taking everything you are feeling at the moment and putting it in to words, if you use more sensory imagery you can actually achieve making the reader see and feel what is going on in your mind, and or heart.

  • 18 years ago

    by Ken

    I't needs some work, and a bit more structure.
    try taking everything you are feeling at the moment and putting it in to words, if you use more sensory imagery you can actually achieve making the reader see and feel what is going on in your mind, and or heart.

  • 18 years ago

    by CausalDreamer

    IT A GOOD START BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE ALOT YOU WANT TO EXPRESS BUT YOUR HOLDING BACK.

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