Comments : The light of day

  • 18 years ago

    by Black Rose

    "The light of day" i think that would be a good title

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    I enjoyed this poem, and I have some positive points and suggestions for improvement.
    I liked the images you portrayed in this write, and your word choice did strengthen the poem. I liked the overall subject, I found it very refreshing, and original.
    On the second line it should be "beats."
    The poem, although it has frequent use of commas still has a flow weakness. Maybe adding full stops in there too could break up the lengthy poem that at the moment reads as one long "sentance."
    As for the question about which category this belong in, I think it is fine here. Or you could always consider the nature section because of your frequent use of nature images. Even the life category would work because there is a sense of human emotion and evil vs good in the poem.
    Good work, keep writing.

  • 18 years ago

    by ScarletHaze

    Awesome i enjoyed reading this xxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Dreams

    This is a rather inspirational piece, I'd put it in the Life section, but still, it's just my opinion. =) Enjoyed this very much, makes me gloomy day seems a lot brighter now. Thanks for sharing.

  • 18 years ago

    by Marjan

    Wow, this was a masterpiece. I enjoyed the way you described
    The battle between light and darkness. I could never write such
    A wonderfully written poem. This poem reminds the reader that
    Even after the darkest hours, the sun shall rise again. It somehow
    Shows our lives. Sun rises, sun sets, sun rises and again it sets.
    And when we remind this to ourselves, then we will never lose
    Our hopes cuz they’re just a part of life and without darkness,
    Light won’t mean anything anymore. I found this poem really
    Soothing and impressive. Thanks for sharing it.
    May you be happy at both sunset and dawn,
    marjan

  • 17 years ago

    by Kei

    This sounds alike my poem but still love it its way better then mine, hehe but ilove it its BEATIULL