Y its so hard

C i try my very best 2 try 2 except. that ur not here 2 break me down but here 2 protect. ive fallin 4 a girls lies b4 n thats y i push away. n every time we talk thats y u feel lk im not listenin 2 wut u say.i cld give all mi amor but then again i can b shut down. n istead of lookin lk tu loco im lookin lk a clown.i got pride in mi barrio n in my race.so i dont respect no1 who can lie in my face.i aint sayin wut u r doin jus wut u mite pick up.u gotta make me feel lk i wanna b in ur arms n not lk im stuck.2 many gurls get jealous n then they cause fites.u jus need 2 remember who i go home 2 at nite.nasty putas around me that i understand.but wut u need 2 understand is im tu loco not the other man. i admit i have my walls so my heart wont feel no pain.n distract myself from feelings so thoughts wont hit my brain.i dont want tears in my eyes or me wonderin y's if ur willing ill try but baby this is y...its so hard.