What do i do

Your the one i love but it hurts me to much
i love when we were together and had a touch
you say you want me back but i don't know if it's true
I'm hurt so much if only you knew
you act as if I'm in no pain
but i always have been since i stepped foot in your game
my boyfriend knows your the one i love
he's happy to be with me
i never thought this could be
he treats me as if I'm the best
he treats me better than the rest
but i still don't get why i don't love him
it's like I'm locked in a room so dim
why is it my ex boyfriend seems to be my life
why is it nothing changes when i pick up the knife
i don't want him back but i really do
but i don't want to hurt anyone what do i do