I think you should take the and from the second line and uppercase that one I. Also it just seems well a bit rushed and not planned out. I.E words and not anything being felt from it. Keep writing though when you can finish it and I'll read it again.

I loved the poem, I think your doing great so far! so keep it up!

I think you are on a good job can't wait to read the rest

Great start to your poem, I can't wait to read it when it is finished. Keep writing!

Keep going, I agree with Kaylee, you should definately get rid of 'and' as it will give the poem a little more flow. The wording and rhyming is good, although you can tell the poem isn't finished, which is a good thing, as you're adding more. I won't rate yet, but pause until you have posted the whole poem :) Keep at it!

Peace. [Sole]