Comments : She wants someone

  • 18 years ago

    by No Need For A Name

    Its good its more of a sad poem then a dark one though

  • 18 years ago

    by Some Random Human

    This is a very good poem, it's sad that you have to go through such feelings to write a good poem, isn't it? I'm sure that "She" will find someone, one day.

  • 6 years ago

    by Mark

    Oui Nams! 'She wants someone' is a perfect title for this piece. I feel your heart is about to pour out here.

    'She wants someone' seems to also begin stanzas. So I thought I could offer an alternative format:

    She wants someone who doesn't mind scars
    She wants someone who will still think shes beautiful
    Even when her cheeks are stained with tears

    She wants someone who listens,
    Just listens and cares
    Instead of telling her what to do
    She wants someone who will simply dry her tears when she cries.

    She wants someone who comforts without asking questions
    Without asking whys
    She wants someone who will take the blade from her wrist
    Deal with her tantrum,
    because they know its for the better.

    She wants someone who will love her even when She cant love herself.

    Stanza 3 - I added a new line to help flow the alternative format. It is the first line of the stanza.

    This is a women pouring her aching hearts desire into a poem. I love the theme flowin throughout the piece.

    The 'blade from her wrist' is particularly powerful and sad :'( seems to point towards depression.
    The reference to 'beautiful even with cheeked stained with tears' is lovely. I wish I was on pnq back then to offer any words of comfort.

    The last line was such a perfect ending I thought it deserved its own two line stanza, it gives it a kick
    'She can't love herself'....
    I know these poems may be sentimental and never will be changed. But I hope you liked my comment and my interest for your work. Hugs Nams

    • 6 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks mark
      Another fantastic comment and more suggestions.
      I will take these on when not on my phone