Just thoughts

I am wondering around in this darkened world looking for a way out. My eyes burn with my tears of blood from my broken heart. I cant see, I start to weaken with the thought of being alone. I feel my head fill up with old memories and lost love. My head it throbbing with pain from my last lovers. They have torn my loving heart into pieces and have left me to die in this cold and lonely world. I once wished I could be taken out of this world!! Away from this pain people call love. I once thought I could never find someone to love me as much as I loved them. I never thought in this crazy suicide world anyone knew how much heartbreak I went through. The pain was so unbearable! I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, the heartbreak made me feel like I couldnt even breathe. I cried so much that tears wouldnt come out from my eyes anymore and for months my faced burned from the tears that scared my face caused by...Heartbreak!
I cant believe now that I have learned a lot from love and what the effects are to the heart. I know the different kinds of love and what the out come will be. And I know how to deal with love in a way that love its self will not have a bad name. People come and go in our lives weather or not we let them or they just enter with no warning. In our lives we will love and be loved, there will be such a thing called heartbreak and we will cry! We will grow as a person; mentally, physically, and emotionally. Love helps us become who we are as human beings. How do you feel when you are loved? How much affection is put in to that relationship to keep it from breaking away? We spend our whole lives trying to make love work and never really spending the time enjoying it. Enjoying the memories of when your love first began and how much happiness filled your eyes, mind, soul, and heart! You start to remember the first time you held hands and the first time you hugged. You start to remember your very first kiss with that person and how your stomach hurt from all the butterflies you felt when your lips touched theirs! You start to remember the first time you got your breath taken away and the first time you ever felt so good in your whole entire life. You remember that first gift they gave you and how they were kissing you over and over telling you they really like you! Down the road you remember when you went to your first movie with them and held their hand and cuddled the whole time and you remember the first real kiss you got under the stars. And then you sit down and smile and remember that first time they leaned over to you and told you they loved you so much that they would do anything for you.
Memories make me cry all the time. Some are good and some are bad but the only ones I cry at are the happy ones. I have loved 3 people in my life and it was hard getting over one, letting the other go, and waiting for this one to come back. My first love will always be in my heart no matter what happens they will always have a small part of heart for them. My second love was more of a lust but still a little love. It was hard letting that person go but it had to be done cause as we get older as people we have needs and wants and my second lover wasnt aware of the reality check he was getting handed to him. This new love is so perfect in every way that I just fell deep in love with him. I hope this life gets better in time. I know love can hurt but look at where it takes you. Love will love you back. Just let it find you. The time will come for you to live you life like and fairy tale! Happily Ever After.