Comments : Only A State Of Mind

  • 18 years ago

    by Bill Turner

    Beautifully done. Introspective and touching.

  • 18 years ago

    by Simon Hayes

    Wow! Wonderfully written... Your words are impressively chosen and the rhyme is magical. Very enjoyable read!

  • 18 years ago

    by Chelsey

    LAURA! WOW!!! Oh my goodness I have never read anything quite like this! Your choice of words was outstanding in this piece which is why I liked it so much because the rhymes are different and after reading like the same rhymes over and over its so nice to have a change! I loved this write Laur keep it up!
    Chels

  • 18 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    Intriguing piece! I really enjoyed reading this, it's quite thought provoking. Especially the next to last stanza, very nice.
    Take care and keep it up~Holly

  • 18 years ago

    by Melissa

    So sad and powerful!
    "Nightmares ravened by thoughts
    of all the world's impurities
    Substantiated night by night
    while I am lost in my insecurities"
    ^^^ I love this stanza, awesome work!

  • 18 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    A very intelligent and profound poem. You have taken much care over this and it has had astaounding results.

    I liked:

    "Sleep is the exploitation of true feelings
    and the most vulnerable of emotions"

    A unique topic to write about and you approach it with vigour yet sensitivity. It worked so well I didnt notice the clever rhyme embedded in it. Nicely done....

    [lostlaureate - come find me]

  • 18 years ago

    by ryan

    Sorry

  • 18 years ago

    by azlan26

    Wow this is such an original poem... I've never read such a poem
    "In the throes of a deep sleep
    where I have no chance of escape"
    Very true..thats what scarses me about dreams...and the fact they are so real
    I just thought it explored the dark side of sleep...the uncontollable...and frightening side
    It's strange how you wake up and your dreams make sense to what you were thinking about
    Amazing...just amazing

  • 18 years ago

    by SmileeItsBritt

    Your poem= completely amazing

  • 18 years ago

    by Bridgette

    Amazing!! You described everything beautifully...wonderful job!

  • 18 years ago

    by Emily

    Such a true and real poem. I was just thinking about sleep, and I never can control those thoughts when I'm totally helpless...Great job, 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Daniel Mulvany

    I'm blown away. I really like the way you finished this one off. As if there were something to come thereafter, and we are left hanging and the words we aren't given. What are those very implications. Makes you think a little. Very nice. I look forward to reading more. Welcome to my favorites.

  • 18 years ago

    by Katlynn

    I would have to say everything is from the state of anyones mind really. I mean it's your mind that makes you think of stuff and then our minds for wondering what's going on. It's a crazy world out there and there's so much people seeing so many things, this poem is just one of those things that you can see and we can't. Or you can feel but we can't touch you know.

    i think you did an amazing job on this poem, i really enjoyed reading it. keep it up. keep on writing. love always and forever. Oooh! by the way thank you for the comments means alot to me.

  • 18 years ago

    by Mona

    Fantastic, brilliant, wonderfull! So beautifully written. I'm impressed!

    Excellent write!

    Lotsaaaaaa love
    -xxx-

  • 18 years ago

    by Allison

    This was a beautiful poem. I liked the concept of it. Keep up the good work. You are really talented. 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Good write.
    I liked how you explored many areas of the unconsious mind, from dreams to nightmares.
    Your rhymes were constant throughout aiding the flow.
    One thing that bothers me is the syllable count on the first line is 5 and on the very last line it is 13, now that's a big difference. You probably weren't writing this with syllable count in mind, but a huge gap like that affects the flow of the overall poem.
    Try to keep the count more or less the same to achieve a constant structured flow.

    Your use of diction was impressive and the use of more creative words made the poem just that bit better.

    Good job, keep writing.

  • 18 years ago

    by Bridgette

    Wow!! This poem absolutely blew my away! It was so very well written & very deep & emotional. It also flowed very well. I love the meaning behind it...It is so true. This is really good. You are very talented. great job! 5/5*

  • 18 years ago

    by Cuddles

    Oh, WOW!! Laura!!! You dug deep and came out with one of the best poems I have EVER read. Simply amazing, Laura!

  • 18 years ago

    by Fallen Angel

    So poignent, so powerful...I really loved this poem. The use of rhyme gave it really great flow and the language sutied the feeling wonderfully. Introspective and obviously well considered. 5/5 x

  • 18 years ago

    by Fallen~Tears

    WOW.. this is such a great poem.. you show SO much emotion!! And you had a amazing use of words.. Simply wonderful 5/5

    ~!*FallenTears~!*
    ~!*Meaghen~!*