The title and concept was attention getting and your lost line was powerful but you look at this part, it feels repetitive:
I'm lying in the dark,
Turning in to darkness
You could have taken the to out but then you'd have basically two of the same word in one stanza. See if there's another word for darkness if you can and wanted to :)

When you feel it slip its so hard to hold on. So if it falls pick it up again and continue to hang on. Sometimes picking up the pieces is what will make us whole.

"My only ray of hope
Is weakening by the day
And I'm afraid to lose it
I can already feel it slipping away..."

This really did it for me. Sometimes I got the impression that words were used for the sake of it...in the sense they were not so well suited to the context. But the expression overall was magnificent....really great poem...write some more...

[lostlaureate - come find me]

Wow! I agree wholeheartedly with the above comment. The last stanza really fit your poem together so well, there was no thoughts of anything wrong with it after reading those lines. I could feel the sadness and sense of longing in every word, and I could relate to it a lot. I loved your style. Keep up your good work. 5/5

I really thought the last stanza stood out the most, when you think your losing something and you can't prevent it it makes you feel so...helpless
The rest of it was really sad...it made me feel for the writer
Lovely...great stuff

Some of the last lines of the stanzas were a bit too long
But apart from that it was excedellent, especially the ending...like you can't stop the thing that means so much from leaving
Other great poem :)

I loved the last stanza it really added to the overall piece.. it was a great poem.. 5/5

~!*FallenTears~!*
~!*Meaghen~!*

Words with no meaning
And promises that weren't real,
````````````````````````````````````
Loved those lines. This was a really emotional poem. And I loved it. The flow and rhyming were good! A excellent poem overall. Awesome job!! 5/5

`Taleee xx