After releasing all the emotions I’ve been holding inside
I lay there with his arms around me, confused.
He doesn’t know how much I love being with him
He only sees me when he wants to.
And I, being weak to his presence
Don’t mind being his temporarily.
Yet I want more than what he has to offer.
I’ve been afraid of showing him too much
Fearful that he would push me away.
But I constantly remind him that I’m here
Because I’m not ready to let go.
I just want him in my life
As long as he allows me to stay in his.
I stared at the blinds with the moonlight peeping through
Daydreaming that he’d wake up and speak to me.
As if he suddenly felt what my thoughts were saying
And said the things I couldn’t say.
I stroked his arm with my fingertips
Recording that very moment in my mind.
I don’t ever want to forget that
Just like all the times I had with him before.
I turned to him and watched him sleep.
Such a sweet face.
I kissed his lips, brushed my cheek against his
And closed my eyes.
I didn’t want that night to end.
I will one day let go.
While he’s asleep, I will turn to him
Tell him that I love him
And that I can no longer exist in his life
Because he can’t say the things I couldn’t say.
And I can’t live my life this way.
