What if

I like your rhyming in this poem. It flows nicely. Thank you for the comment. Keep writing =)

I love this pome! its so loving and a guy needs that kind of lovin!

You've got the rhyme down, that at the least works well. I can hear what your saying, but it doesnt sound like your conveying it with alot of emotion. Maybe choose more powerful/strong words next time.. also the flow is a bit off. Maybe try feeling out your syllable count next time and dont worry so much about rhyme? over all nice piece, it has potential

You've got the rhyme down, that at the least works well. I can hear what your saying, but it doesnt sound like your conveying it with alot of emotion. Maybe choose more powerful/strong words next time.. also the flow is a bit off. Maybe try feeling out your syllable count next time and dont worry so much about rhyme? over all nice piece, it has potential

Hey Kayla.
Not that I'm not happy when you comment....it just makes me so mad when you say that....I dont like the last stanza oh this didnt really flow blah blah blah...I like to write and if you have nothing good to say then I dont wanna hear it....Oh by the way this dosent flow really well....