The breakdown until she saved me

I have some shi* that I've held inside for too long
I have no where to run, no where to hide
I just keep my pain inside praying and hoping that I can just let it all out

I've been holding in pain since I was 5, I'm now 20 and still the same pain is inside

Sometimes while I'm trying to kill myself, I pray that my pain goes away. As you can see I'm still alive i never succeeded in all my attempts I just keep saying to myself that I will have better luck next time, better luck next time.

I'm afraid to be alone cause of what I may do to myself.
I'm afraid to cry because someone might laugh at me.
I'm afraid to get help because no one will listen, and they may think I'm crazy.

I'm being haunted by my past in my dreams
I've seen the end to my life and I'm scared to sleep.

The one I love tries her best to understand me
The one I love tries her best to make me whole again
The one I love is always telling me that I'm not in this alone
The one I love dame I'm putting her through so much shi* which indeed isn't fair

I made my girl a promise speak to someone about my past.
I made my girl a promise that I wouldn't try to kill myself
I made my girl a promise that I would come running to her when shi* anit right.

I LOVE HER because she is helping me understand me
I can't believe that she knows me better than me.

My girl has been my medicine throughout this breakdown and I'm truly am thankful to have her in my life.
by the way I'm one of the lucky ones
ps. babygirl thank you for dealing with me and not giving up on me when i did.
thank you for giving your 100%
I LOVE YOU FOREVER

Much luv
Asia
4-4-06 thursday