Wow, I'm in love with this! Amazing rhyme, I can rock with it and keep a great reading pace.

This one is awesome. It flows a lot better than your first one although your 3rd paragraph seems awquard. Other than that its awesome.

Wow Eric, thats a pretty intense poem, even compared to the first one. Very meaningful, very painful. Almost like a dream. I give you a 5!

Wow....that was amazing....you have sucha talent eric....it's like you can draw people into the story and make them cry for you becuase it touched them so, and without having experience to write such an emotional poem, you really have a gift....I'm so proud of you, and that might sound strange, but I am and I hope to continue reading your incredible poetry because when I read your stuff it makes me feel so......real......Oh well, I better go, I'll talk to you on AIM sumtime.....see ya later handsome.....bye
***** 5 STARS!

Well i totally want to write what i did for part one but that would be gay.... im sorry but i cant think of a way to describe this... its fantatastic. it made me tingle.

Fanx 4 commenting on all my stuff!