Wow really long but way worth the read ya the ending made you want to re-read it and see how you made it differnt i really enjoyed it and i loved the twist i at first didnt see how it was a love story but then i got it. thank you for letting me read it...
5/5

Keep the talent, keep the faith, keep the ability to write beautifully

-Laura

Stage one is set
Lights, camera, and action
CUT CUT CUT!
The dialect is out of place
You've made the brown eyed boy cry once more
With those misquoted scripts
You can't refashion these words
To form around your sick sick fantasies
Kill these lights and make this platform black
I don't want to see your face anymore
I don't want to see your pretty face anymore...
Oh who am I kidding
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I loved that whole part. This was a really great poem. It was so long lol but it was really good. I loved reading it. Keep it up! 5/5

.x.TaLeEe.x.

That poem was very long, and i had trouble getting into the poem, it seemed good and the imagery was cool. not my best choice of words but it wasnt bad.
good try

Wow... nice poem, it was well written and I loved the end, it really made the whole poem so much better. And again, your choice of words are amazing. Good Job again, your a great writer

I have to admit that I had to force myself through this poem because I just don't enjoy dark stuff all that much. (that doesn't mean it was bad... just not my taste)
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I did like the imagery in these lines:

This pulse has been flat lined to long for me to care
And these floors have been stained to much to notice

although (this will sound tongue-twistery) two of the to's need to be too's. LOL
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I thoroughly enjoyed the twist at the end.. and was glad that I read all the way through it.

Good work!

Wow! this poem totally drew me in...i loved it so much...teriffic ending...i especially liked the ending...classic...making it a movie...totally unexpected...great imagery.
5/5.

Wow this is astonishing. I love the whole movies idea. a bit long but worth it. great writing.

Hey i really liked this poem... like i said before you have talent. once again you pulled it off, great vocab, imagery everything fits. well done

Hey that poem is great... really it is i loved it... thanx for the comment... sorry this isn't long... but i still have to pack...