I'll be there till the sun goes down once more
I'll build a sandcastle with these two hands
Take a picture to remember today
And when theres no more pictures left
I'll get a new roll to take some more
Cause as time turns the page
Memories will start to fade

^ I think that's the best verse..even though there is only two. Anyways, this is a cool song, I've never really seen a sogn that never rhymed, but what is a song but apoem, so I guess it's alright. Nice job, on the repetitive "I see" But I think this poem could use a little more work on the descritive side. I don't get a clear image, and I kind of add my own stuff, so it's a big confusing. Anways, I like this poem. Nice job

*~WOW~*~I wish i could write stuff like this~*~i really like this song you have written~*

Then I'll go home
And watch T.V.
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That's the only line that seemed abit off. But otherthan that I thought it was a pretty good song. Do you have music or anything for it? Anywho, 5/5 cause I liked it! =)

`Taleee. xx.

I'll build a sandcastle with these two hands
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i liked this line lol idk why it just...fit the song i guess lol loved the feeling the whole song emmits. Great job! keep writting!

Really very beautifully done
God bless u

This is good well layed out. all of my poems are actually songs so i definetly don't mind reading lyrics. you should check out some of my songs. good job

First off it is a really great song! No for the critique,
The first verse, 4th line down, I think it should say"cause i'll stand here till I may no more" allowed sounds kinda childish.

Same verse last line I think it should say "that most will never see" rather then "that most can never see" only because anyone can see anything whenever they want to........

the Chorus is nice, but at one point it is kinda confusing "The waves up high in the sky
till it's dark
and I can no longer see
Then I'll go home
and (do something other then T.V) till the sun comes up.
The confusing part is I swear, what is it you are swearing to?

I love the second verse, I think it is awesome. The only bit that I think should be a little reworded is" And when theres no more pictures left
I'll get a new roll to take some more"

Other then that, I think it was a pretty awesome song, great write,

-AnnMarie