Comments : Rain

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Some say it brings pain, but im happy it when it rains
    i set in my window and watch as the water hits agaist its frame.
    realizing that ni drop is the same."

    First off, all of the "i"s should be capitalized in this stanza and in the rest of the poem.

    First line: "im" should be "I'm".
    Third line: "set" should be "sit".
    Fifth line: "ni" should be "no".

    "some say it brings pain, but i love it when it rains
    i cant help it if the rain is all i know
    but where i live it dosent snow. "

    Third line: "cant" should be "can't".
    Fourth line: "doesnt" should be "doesn't".

    "some say it brins pain, but i thank the lord it rains
    it rains in the morning, it rains in the evening
    somtimes it rains for no reason."

    First line: "brins" should be "brings". But your words are so true, I love what you wrote here.

    "some say it brings pain, but im blessed when it rains
    it brings me joy alll night, and all day
    my rain is here to stay. "

    First line: "im" should be "I'm".
    Third line: "alll" should be "all".

    "some sat it bring pain and thats okay, cause i love the rain any way
    like a water fall that keeps on going or a a river that keeps on flown
    I have a rain that cant be washed away
    because my love is here to stay"

    First line should be re-worded to this:
    "some say it brings pain and that's okay,"

    Third line: There shouldn't be a space between "water" and "fall" it should all be one word.

    Fourth line: "flown" should be "flowing".

    Fifth line: "cant" should be "can't".

    Otherwise, I loved what you were saying here and I completely agree, rain is such a beautiful element. I think you rushed a lot on this piece, so just go back and fix the grammar errors and this poem will be a lot better. 4/5 from me, take care!