Well-expressed thoughts on what you feel. I am sorry you do not have faith to get you through life, you don't know what you are missing. I will pray for you, a life without God is horrible, God is with you everywhere you go. No matter what sin you commit, what murder you do, if you are truly sorry he will forgive you. Don't think God doesn't care, because he does.

I will pray for you, you need it.