Aww..its really sweet...it was a bit hard to read..but i loved it! 5/5

I like it :) well written

keep it up

x x x x x x x x x x x x

Super like! 5/5

THANKS:=)

Remember the memories of the past;
yesterday, you said our love never last

Yeah, some love will last for a very long time but most will just change with time. I love the meaning behind this poem. :)

Hi Chrismerl

you write vivid and nicely, I will read some more of your poems

I love you without an end
Your name in my heart always frame,
behind the sadness that you did;
in my heart written the endless love
if you read..... i like it wel done

Thanks=)

You should get this published, any publishing company would be lucky to publish a writer with this much talent, outstanding poem, 100/100

Very good.

Now, I'm tears alone
like a little bird that can't fly to go home;
with her mother side and cry
for the loneliness of her life.

i love this part

Oki this is v.good poem
the meaning it holds is so good
the emotion is so sad and the tone too
the flow was gr8

"The night were so gloom,
loneliness starts to born
I'm here sitting in my room alone
waiting the rising sun to dawn."

this is nice opening stanza very nice
the imagery and words lead me to the rest of the poem directly

"Remember the memories of the past;
yesterday, you said our love never last
but why your heart made to change?
And destroyed of our dreams...."

yesterday here u mean the past right?
the questioning is nice and good placed
last line
i suggest you remove 'of' it is useless here and ruin the flow

:You hurt me so...
you always said your love for me was true;
and I'll the fool one
believed your promise that gone.

Now, I'm tears alone
like a little bird that can't fly to go home;
with her mother side and cry
for the loneliness of her life."

1st stanza is totally nice but at 3rd line should be
"I'll be the fool one"
love these lines a lot they are so emotional

2nd stanza 1st line should be
"Now, I'm in tears alone"
in tears=crying tears and i guess that is what u meant

"for the for the loneliness of her life."
i suggest u to change 'of' to 'in'
more meaningful like that for me

"But "Honey" only what I say
my heart is yours alone
that it's gonna be
even conquer this feeling of mourn.

I love you without an end
Your name in my heart always frame,
behind the sadness that you did;
in my heart written the endless love
if you read....."

with Honey u mean to mention him right?
nice wording and placing

last stanza i love the ending
rewriting the 2nd line in it
"Your name is always in my heart's frame"
sounds better like this to me

over all good poem 5/5 keep writing =)

Reading your poem written more or less six years ago, I can definitely see the improvement.
A little refining would make this piece better, so if you don't mind:

"The night were so gloom,
loneliness starts to born"

Grammatically, this needs revising. Message-wise, it is a good start. My suggestion for revision: "The night was so gloomy, loneliness is born"

"I'm here sitting in my room alone
waiting the rising sun to dawn."

The imagery is nice and simple. I like it.
But the second line, I suggest could be revised to avoid grammatical errors: "waiting for the rising sun at dawn"

"Remember the memories of the past;
yesterday, you said our love (would) never last"

"but why your heart made to change?
And destroyed of our dreams...."

Questions add power to a poem. I like how you placed it here, after you established a setting and atmosphere.
"but why did you(r heart) change?
And you destroyed our dreams"

"and I'll the fool one"

Less is more. "and I'm the fool"

"believed your promise that gone."

My suggestion: "who believed in your promises"

"Now, I'm tears alone
like a little bird that can't fly to go home;"
---'Now I'm left alone
like a caged bird that couldn't fly home'
I love the simile here. I hope you don't mind my changing the adjective, I found it more fitting to place 'caged' ;)

"with her mother side and cry
for the loneliness of her life."

"In her mother's side to cry
for the loneliness in her life"
I found this quite confusing since in the previous stanza, you said she couldn't go home, yet she's at her mother's side..?

Still a good read, Mery. I like how you've improved. Keep at it :)