My Weakness

Why do you insist on hurting me?
It guess it must make you happy in some way,
Knowing that you occupy my mind all day
With these thoughts and these wishes that won't come true.
It must make you happy taking me for a fool.

I sometimes think that nobody can be that heartless,
To know the pain they are causing and still persist.
But I guess I'm just naive ... you're living proof that they exist.

But I force myself to believe that he must have cared.
All the things he had done for me, all the things we'd shared.
It must have meant something.

So I hold on to that thought.
And then I see you.
You say hi and give me that stupid smile,
The one you always do.
I laugh, smiling sweetly back at you.
Then there's that look.
The look that makes me go weak inside.
Feeling that same weakness that allows me to believe your lies all the time.
The same one that constantly lets you back into my life.

My heart is breaking,
But i refuse to show it.

I try to ignore you, but i can feel your eyes searching for mine.
Trying to capture me again, after all this time.

But I can resist your eyes, that look, and that smile.
I can resist you.
Maybe for a while.